we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
