He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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