I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
