Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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