tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
