the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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