I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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