hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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