This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
