Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
