my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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