so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
