Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
