Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
