I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
