Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
