Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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