is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
