She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
