i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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