This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
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