I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
