The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Alive.
So much puke
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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