she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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