i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
