My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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