hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
