The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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