Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
honey bunches of taint.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Your penis caused this!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
