She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
