you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
