that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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