ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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