He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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