dude i'm inner monologue high
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
