I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
