honey bunches of taint.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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