Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
