you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
