I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
