what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
