i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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