She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
