I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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