I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
