Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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