take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
