The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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