so that wasnt chicken after all
one two three fourrrrnication!
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
