Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
